love: (Default)
love ([personal profile] love) wrote2026-10-05 10:45 am

Men reading romance

From the Guardian article "The secret lives of men who read romance":

Almost nothing is known about how many men read romantic fiction, and why. For those I spoke to, however, reading romance is more than just entertainment. It offers a kind of liberation, allowing them to feel deeply, imagine being desired, and accept parts of themselves that conventional masculinity has little room for. Many would only speak anonymously, worried about being misunderstood or mocked.

Romantasy is not “grim” in the way that pornography is, Andrew says, but he would still blush at publicly buying books that are “substantially about sex”. “I like the anonymity of reading it on my phone or on Kindle, as opposed to a physical book on the tube,” he says. Still, he wonders if the genre’s constant idealisation of sex comes with a cost. “Every time they do it, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to them. I can imagine there being some subtle toxic element to it, because real-life sex could be a bit of a letdown.”

An interesting bit about RFM (Romance For Men):

Fans caution against any single definition of what RFM is, but agree that some patterns recur. It is typically written from the perspective of an ordinary man whose love interest is an unusually powerful woman – a straightforward inversion of narrative conventions in mainstream romance, where the heroine is expected to be relatable and the hero mythologised. Many readers indicate that the central crisis in RFM is often external to the couple’s relationship, such as a war or a shared enemy, rather than emerging from misunderstandings or jealousy between the two leads. There’s also a long-running argument about “harem” fiction, where one man is paired with several women. Some consider it the genre’s biggest success, while others don’t think it’s romance at all.